“A girl should be two things: who and what she wants.”
-Coco Chanel
When I was a little girl, I was a natural leader. Painstakingly organized behind a vision for most every event I attended or planned, I was generally out in front, making things happen. I have vivid recollections of my role as manager/director as part of my earliest childhood memories. From the time I could write I was making lists and drawing flow charts and diagrams with boxes labeled by category. I have a penchant for clipboards. I once got a whistle for a gift.
Even more vivid than my early memories of organizing groups is the sound of my mom’s voice as she called me away from the neighborhood kids or my brothers and into the kitchen: “Julia, can you come in here for a moment?”
As I’d sheepishly step forward, she’d wag her finger at me and say,
“Juju, your voice is the only voice I can hear from the other room. Why are you so LOUD? Do you have to be so BOSSY?”
I must have been five when I first heard that.
I was in my early 30’s when my husband and friends dubbed me (ever-so-lovingly) “The Minister of Social Policy” for our group.
As my father lay dying of cancer and I barked orders at the movers delivering the motorized reclining bed to his room, he looked at me wryly and said, “Look at you… always the Executive Director.”
When a group of German GSG9 soldiers stayed at our house years ago, they nicknamed me The Little General.
When I relive these moments—and scores of others like them—they provoke a swift and automatic sense of burning shame within me. A welling in my chest, hard like a fist and heavy like a boulder. These physical and emotional responses are nearly instantaneous, and each and every time they hit me I’m taken aback by their intensity.
It’s only now, at 52, that I can separate the way I feel about myself from the way I felt in the moments when one of my greatest strengths and personally-defining attributes appeared as an ugly stain.
Don’t get me wrong. This shame did not stop me from becoming a leader. In school I led clubs and cheerleading squads, ski trips and youth groups. During my corporate career, I Ied teams, departments, initiatives, events, and institutional change. For nearly 15 years, I led my own agency and myriad projects to re-brand and re-launch client corporations.
For decades I managed to live with a sort of cognitive dissonance around my gifts. They served me. And I hated ‘em.
But it wasn’t until I decided to brand MYSELF that I realized choking on shame around the core of who I am was never going to work.
Because branding is an act of bravery. And getting up every day and putting myself out there requires me to BACK myself. To PROMOTE myself. To RESPECT myself. And dare I say it… to LOVE myself.
It’s one thing to make shit happen on behalf of a client–to set standards, or request commitments from suppliers, or demand a well-executed plan because a CLIENT needs it. And quite another to require such things on behalf of myself.
It’s one thing to submit a proposal to a multi-billion-dollar corporation for strategic branding services, and quite another to look a woman in the eye and tell her what it costs and why she should work with me one-on-one as a coach.
In order for me to succeed at the level I want to play, I need to SHOW UP COMPLETELY. And even though I still have moments where I feel inexplicably gut-punched as I step onto a stage or provide constructive feedback to a team member or write a call-to-action saying, “…but do it now, because it won’t last long,” I STILL DO THOSE THINGS.
Because at 52 I KNOW that bossy Juju is Juju in all her glory.
And I also know that the thoughts, the memories, the gut reactions and the irrational fears will NEVER stop. I am hard-wired for these reactions. My insecure thoughts around my inner “Head Bitch In Charge” run as deep as the Grand Canyon.
I cannot stop the thoughts.
But I can sure as hell stop allowing them to dictate my actions and define the scope of my success.
You know why I’m sharing this?
Because I have this conversation with clients NEARLY EVERY DAY. Every PrimeTime woman I know who’s building a brand is stepping over some sort of shame, apprehension, second-guessing, or hiding around the very thing that makes her great.
Nearly every woman I know feels embarrassment or reticence around SLAYING her own competitive advantage.
Every PrimeTime brand I’ve helped to build is the result of some serious work around BEING SEEN AND HEARD.
BRANDING IS AN ACT OF BRAVERY.
If you want to increase your level of visibility, income, impact, or influence, you’ve gotta OWN THAT SHIT.
You’ve gotta put it on and wear it around like a fucking TIARA.
You’ve gotta get out of your own way and give the world what you were born to deliver.
So I’m not feeling one bit badly about TELLING you to come to my LIVE training next week.
You should show up live.
You should take 90 minutes out of your day to learn about the MINDSET you need to go next-level.
You should take the time to learn what triggers you (about you) that’s keeping you small.
You should let me be your mirror and show you what an absolute QUEEN you are.
And you should meet an entire group of women who are learning to step through their own fears and into their greatness every day.
There are only 100 seats at the training.
Grab one.
Show up.
So you can show yourself completely.
Straight from my big, bossy heart,
Juju
P.S. In next week’s FREE LIVE ONLINE TRAINING, I’ll show you how to FALL IN LOVE with the very thing that makes you different than everyone else. How to step through the discomfort of COMPLETELY SHOWING the core of your heart and soul. So you can build a brand that changes the world. Grab your spot here. And do it now. Because seats are limited.
